Poetry, Uncategorized, Videos, Writing

better (a poem)

watch me read it here: https://youtu.be/N-LGWlw9bYw

i read a line in a book recently
that said “this is what better looks like for me”
and better wasn’t really best it was more like surviving
than thriving
you see –
sometimes you don’t get to choose the path less travelled
or even the path with handy signposts and friendly guides
sometimes it’s hard enough to reach the starting line
let alone to ramble
whilst others wade through mud and rivers
filling their boots with cold and wet
laughing at nature and how the world makes them feel alive
there are those of us who stay inside
and start to forget the sun on their skin
or the way it felt to meet somebody new without pretence or expectation
when the noise overwhelms
and there’s too much to see
because the world is sharp edges, too much for me
when late night car rides and half hour conversations
are as much as this muddled brain can bear
when you look for me and find that i’m not there
when you cut a hole inside my chest and tunnel past my spine
and i ask if you can see through me now
as i bleed this unholy wine
you don’t reply because you finally see
this is what better looks like for me.

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