Poetry, Uncategorized, Writing

At night, stars rain

Sleep tight, gentle sigh

Lay down on your side

Your arm tucked close to mine

Outside, black and night

Inside, it’s all right

(So perhaps I don’t dream anymore.)

Breathe in, then out

There’s comfort in coming home

If I close my eyes I can even pretend

That you’re her, and that the world didn’t end.

Poetry, Uncategorized, Writing

LP side one and I’m already drifting

Sway like trees in autumn breeze

It’s lifting

The words and the swells and the highs and the lows

The way it all hits and echoes (echoes echoes)

Could be I’m projecting but maybe –

When you’re singing for yourself

You’re also singing for me.

Poetry, Uncategorized, Writing

I keep the blinds closed

And don’t look outside

What’s the weather doing?

Is it warm where you are?

 

The fields feel oppressive

They stretch and yawn towards the horizon

I wish for people and pavements and pieces of conversation

And rain dripping from awnings onto concrete.

 

(If I built this prison then why don’t I have a copy of the key?)

 

I thread my hands through the bars

Reaching for the touch of skin on skin

Stretching fingers brushing thin air

I keep the blinds closed

Is it warm where you are?

Poetry, Uncategorized, Writing

They say it’ll eat you up inside –

That it’s not therapist advised –

But the therapists don’t email back –

And my promise is already charcoal black.

 

So leave me my spite –

Let me keep living in spite –

Because what happened when I was young (and when I first realised the war was far from won)

 

Drives drives drives me onwards –

Teaches me how to disobey orders –

Tells me that to die is to die (and that if you don’t laugh you might as well cry)

 

No new beginnings and no fresh starts –

But the smallest resilience from broken hearts –

To deny what made me?

Too clean, too easy (let me bleed let me curse let me drown in it).

Books, Uncategorized, Writing

htbainsta

Poe’s voice is confident, moving and often funny, as she reveals to us a very personal account of autism, mental illness, gender and sexual identity.

As we follow Charlotte’s journey through school and college, we become as awestruck by her extraordinary passion for life as by the enormous privations that she must undergo to live it. From food and fandom, to body modification and comic conventions, Charlotte’s experiences through the torments of schooldays and young adulthood leave us with a riot of conflicting emotions: horror, empathy, despair, laugh-out-loud amusement and, most of all, respect. For Charlotte, autism is a fundamental aspect of her identity and art. She addresses her reader in a voice that is direct, sharply clever and ironic. She witnesses her own behaviour with a wry humour as she sympathises with those who care for her, yet all the while challenging the neurotypical narratives of autism as something to be ‘fixed’.

‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’

Punctuated by her poetry, this is an exuberant, inspiring, life-changing insight into autism from a viewpoint almost entirely missing from public discussion.

Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Autistic-Charlotte-Amelia-Poe/dp/1912408325/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=how+to+be+autistic&qid=1555582434&s=gateway&sr=8-1

Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/How-Autistic-Charlotte-Amelia-Poe/dp/1912408325/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=how+to+be+autistic+charlotte+amelia+poe&qid=1555582817&s=gateway&sr=8-1-fkmrnull

Waterstones: https://www.waterstones.com/book/how-to-be-autistic/charlotte-amelia-poe/9781912408320

Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-be-autistic-charlotte-amelia-poe/1130419987?ean=9781912408320

Myriad Editions (publisher): https://myriadeditions.com/books/how-to-be-autistic/

Books, Publishing, Uncategorized, Writing

I’m really excited to announce that my first published book, a memoir called How To Be Autistic, is available to pre-order now! It’s the story of my life, growing up with autism and not being diagnosed, how hard that was and how it shaped me as a person – anxiety, depression and trauma, it’s a completely honest account of my experiences and honestly, I’m so proud of it. The cover isn’t quite ready yet, but there’s a brief summary on Amazon (I think this is subject to change, as it’s still early days).

Pre-ordering helps in so many ways, from helping my first week of sales, to letting the publisher know there’s interest in the book and also book stores, stuff like that. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been affected by autism in your life, this book is an attempt to bridge the gap between autistic and neurotypical people, and is more of a conversation than anything else.

It’s about hope, more than anything.

If you have any questions about the book before pre-ordering, or if you want to let me know you have pre-ordered it, feel free to leave me a message on curiouscat – it’s 100% anonymous.

I’ll keep you updated with any news I receive, and the release date is September 17th, this year.

So I guess I’ll leave you with the Amazon links! Thanks so much for supporting my blog and for the follows, your support has helped me grow as a writer and I couldn’t have written this book without you.

Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Autistic-Charlotte-Amelia-Poe/dp/1912408325/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1550239205&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+be+autistic

Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/How-Autistic-Charlotte-Amelia-Poe/dp/1912408325/ref=sr_1_6?keywords=how+to+be+autistic&qid=1550239432&s=gateway&sr=8-6

(Also available in other countries, just type in ‘How To Be Autistic’, I don’t know all the different Amazon sites or I’d link them all!)

Thanks so much,

Poe xx

Art, Poetry, Uncategorized, Writing

I’ve printed a few poems on beautiful grey handmade cotton rag paper, and put them in my etsy store. I’m really interested in making art accessible to everyone, so they’re priced very cheaply, not because they aren’t worth anything, but because I think everyone should be able to afford art.

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If you’re interested in purchasing a poem or two, or would like to pick up one of the last copies of my zine, my etsy is https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheSeldomSeenFox

– Poe xx

Poetry, Uncategorized, Writing

What is a wasteland,
But a place where no-one’s home?
There is dust on my shoulders
Scum on my teeth
And death in the air
Soft on the breeze

What is a bomb site,
But a place where no-one’s home?
There is blood on my brow
And stark white broken bone
Broken glass from the mirror above the hearth
Broken heart beats broken heart

What is wilderness,
But a place where no-one’s home?
There is dirt between my toes
And mud in my eyelashes
I wash my hands in the river but they never come clean
The forest is a promise is a measure of a means

What is a body,
But a place where no-one’s home?
There is a gap between my fingers were yours should be
And a sense memory of warmth that shivers cold frigid colder
Bruises on my hips fade green blue yellow gone
And like a watercolour painting left out in the rain
I run and I run and I run

(This house isn’t a home without you.)

Poetry, Uncategorized, Writing

this is a place
where gossip spreads
where the neighbours are angry
and where cobwebs sweep the top of your head

this is a place
in permanent autumn
with the yellowing crops
the farmer has forgotten

this is a place
with one pub too many
too many drunkards
and bets placed with pennies

this is a place
where nobody lives
the postman gets lost
and we give up on gifts

this is a place
where i cannot find peace
in a deafening silence
and the honking of geese

this is a place
where friends do not visit
the cost of cars repaired
and “it’s not worth it, is it?”

this is a place
i long to escape
but where would i go?
these roots sunk in deep,
this place is a prison
this kingdom of field
and the world half asleep
(i yield, i yield, i yield)

this is a place
i try to tempt you to be
like a siren on the rocks
it’s too late for me.