Poetry, Uncategorized, Writing

fault lines, fault lies

when you tell me that –
that everything was imagined
that the last two years
were two years of dreams
and the held breath of hope
was really the suffocation
of a crushed situation
and then you say
because you’re not being ‘patronising’
that it’s my fault
that i should never have looked at you
as someone i could have loved
that i should never have taken the time
to try to get to know you
and that the time i took
didn’t really count on the clock anyway
i wonder how much harder i could have tried
and if you’d have ever been satisfied
and i wonder why i feel like i did something wrong
and why i feel like my heart is breaking
when every thought was for you
i wrote you a thousand lines
each of them a message in a bottle
i’d hoped you’d find
because you told me you liked me too
so i guess i believed you
more fool me, easy to deceive
and once again i am a zero sum
and i wonder how many more times
i can do this before
alone seems like the better option.

 

(author’s note: i’m not doing so well right now. coming out of a two year… what i thought was quite a serious thing and being told i’m the reason it could never have been serious, it’s hard. because the poetry anthology ‘turn soft & lovely’ was written almost entirely about the person, i need to sell them off and get them out of my sight, so they’re reduced to clear on my etsy. thanks for reading.)

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