Poetry

Like Maybe There’s Something

I broke the heads off
All my sunflowers
I didn’t like
That they were taller than me

I think you knew before
You met me that there was
Something wrong about
The way that I breathed

I’m sorry, I built myself
Up and I’m carved out
Of sand and
The tide is coming in

The world’s on fire
But I’ve been burning for years
My skin scalds red hot
Keeps me safe keeps me warm

I believed in reprieves and
The space of not being
Needed or wanted for
Anything other than love

Before realising that
That hurt the most that that
Was the most broken jagged piece
Of glass between my toes

I stare so hard I think
My eyes will turn white
Like milk and all I’ll see is
What I’ve been endless nothing now never dark

Leaving was an apocalypse of
My own design and all
That remains is the marrow
In my bones ’til you suck that dry too

There will be flowers again when
Winter turns to spring I won’t
See them but I’m
Assured they’ll be there

This place is a prison and I’m
Only operating one small portion
Of all the clanking machinery that
Drones on and on in the background like dulled screams

I’m a virus and
I’ll infect you too
Mask yourself and quarantine
The very bones of your spine

I’m sorry I couldn’t be beautiful
For you, I built a pyre but it’s damp
The kindling won’t light there
Isn’t anything more than sparks in the night

Salt sea air and I have that in common
The cries of the gulls above me
Six feet under and breathing in dirt
Didn’t I tell you I was doing well?

I haven’t been myself lately
I think it’s something in
The way the floods roll in
And in miniature oceans
We pile up our belongings
And pray that we don’t lose
Like maybe there’s something to lose
Like maybe there’s something
Like maybe there’s something
Like maybe there’s –

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